Tuesday 24 May 2016

cookie monster story

As mummy reads a book to me while i lay in bed i see something moving in the wardrobe. I scream and mum said what what what’s wrong honey i i i in th th th the war war war wardrobe I stammer in terror.


she gets up and turns the light on and my eyes have to adjust because i had my touch lamp on low.  Then mum goes and turns the bright light. I am blinded by the burning yellow light. As I rub my eyes she has a look in the wardrobe then out jumps the…cookie monster and he said


“me need cookies now or me kill you” so mum ran and  grabbed some cookies and sprinted back into the room and...zachary was gone!!!


Then mum said “you ain’t havin no cookies.”


IT was obvious that Zachary was inside the cookie monster because you could see the cookie monster’s stomach moving as if there were some one inside (which there was). You could almost see the outline of Zachary’s hands and feet in the monster’s stretchy stomach skin. Gag, gag, gag, blagh the cookie monster vomited  up zachary and he was covered in saliva then his mum said to zachary duck down and crawl over beside me he did and his mum had a pistol in her hand and she attempted to shoot the cookie monster but the bullet just went straight through him and then the hole closed up.  So she ran and grabbed her rifle and had another shot this time a huge splash of red goop erupted from the cookie monster but the cookie monster was smart cookie and ne had some tomato sauce hiding under his arm and when he got “shot” he squirted tomato sauce so it looked like blood splurting out.  By now he was on the ground and he hopped back up onto his feet the cookie monster seemed invincible.



14 comments:

  1. hi it's Tess stay tuned for the next update

    ReplyDelete
  2. *on the story=)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I was thinking you were going to make a Part 2!
      Epic!

      Delete
    2. hi Nikolai,
      i will do a part 2 when i have time
      thanks
      tess

      Delete
  3. Hi Tess, its Emma.

    I like your story but next time to make it better check your Grammar

    Check out my blog http://paroagreyemmab.blogspot.co.nz/

    ReplyDelete
  4. Hi Emma. Thanks for commenting on Tess' writing. Can you be a bit more specific about where she went wrong with her grammar? You could give her an example of one of her sentences and the changes you would make to improve it.

    Thanks,

    Mr McAulay

    ReplyDelete
  5. Okay,

    Thanks Mr. McAulay

    ReplyDelete
  6. Hi Tess, its Emma.

    I like your story but next time to make it better check your Grammar for an example,(she gets up and turns the light on and my eyes have to adjust because i had my touch lamp on low.) she is the star of the sentence (i) Needs a capital

    Check out my blog http://paroagreyemmab.blogspot.co.nz/

    ReplyDelete
  7. hey Tess it Renae
    i love the story but just next time if you don't want it to take up room on your blog then put it on slides
    check out my blog at http://paroagreyrenaes.blogspot.co.nz/
    thanks Renae

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. thanks Renae
      i didn't think of that at the time
      tess

      Delete
    2. thanks Renae
      i didn't think of that at the time
      tess

      Delete
  8. hi Tess it in Caitlin for BTB for next time try put capital I's

    ReplyDelete
  9. hi its Caitlin cool story

    ReplyDelete
  10. hi tess its sophie this is a really cool story maybe next time put on a slide so it doesn't take up as much room go check out my blog at http://sophied7.blogspot.co.nz/ thanks

    ReplyDelete

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Thanks,

Tess